Our Day

Today I exepected to write part 2 from Ava's last day, but I just can't do it, not yet. Instead you'll just get to just read about our not so eventful day. =)

B stayed home from school again and is finally doing much better. He still has a horrible cough and he says that his throat doesn't hurt as bad. He finally had enough energy to carry on conversations and enough energy to beg me to play monopoly with him. After about two hours of playing monopoly, I realized there was never going to be an end to the game, especially with his rules.  His rule, if you are about to run out of money, you can get a loan from the bank= the never ending game of monopoly. I did get a call from Acute Kids following up on our visit from Sunday. They did say his strep culture came back negative, so that was a big relief.

Then I got a call from J about 5:30 to say that our funeral director had called him.  He had made a mistake with the coding on Ava's marker on Sunday.  Remember I said we had to make it complicated for our princess?? =) He had assured J he fixed the mistake, but needed one of us to come sign the corrected paper.  J was still at work so it was much easier for me to go and sign than it would be for him. I got in the car and headed there. Going to a funeral home is.never.easy! As soon as I got there, I could tell from the amount of cars in their front parking lot and arriving, a visitation was just about to begin.  From the friends visiting, I could tell the visitation was for an older person. Not that it makes it ANY easier, losing a loved one is never easy, regardless of their age. The whole scene just took me back 3.5 weeks ago and the flood of emotions began.  As I walked in, I told the greeter who I was there to meet.  They called him and he met me at the front (not being able to hold back my emotions) he immediately apologized for me having to come back and took me back to an office. He explained that right before he submitted our order he felt that something just wasn't right about it. He looked it over, couldn't quite figure it out, so he had someone else take a look at it. They looked and thought everything was right. He still had a gut feeling that something was wrong. He then realized the edging was wrong. Most people get a "rock edge". . . but since our princess can't have what most people get we went for a "beveled" edge.  It took them over two hours and calling the company directly, to get it correct. I am so thankful he noticed it and I know that "gut feeling" was Ava making sure her marker was just as special as her mommy, daddy and big brother designed. =)  As hard as it was going back to the funeral home, it did give me one more excuse to go see our princess for a quick visit. =)

Since I haven't been able to show off J's parents introductions yet, here is a sneak peak one of my favorites. . .

Ava's Last Day Part 1

Tuesday, March 12th, 2013...Ava's last day...we had a pretty eventful day with lots of good pictures, so I am going to break it into 3 parts...Part 1 morning (her hearing test), Part 2 afternoon (meeting J's parents) and Part 3 the evening. Emotionally, I am not ready to share the evening and everything we went through that night.  I will work on it, but more than likely part 3 will not fit into the chronological order.

One of the things Ava had done first thing Tuesday morning was her hearing test. Of course, she passed with flying colors. =)

Such a sweet, precious angel that we all miss SOOO, SOOO much!

We LOVE this picture and her sweet lil "popeye look" as we called it. =)

And didn't J do an awesome job on her "swaddling"?!? He was an instant natural!

This is another one of our favorites.  It looks like she has her headphones on, just enjoying some tunes. 

 

A nice big yawn....not sure which was the cause of the yawn, either her hearing test was too exhausting for her or maybe it was her "night owl" skills that she had mastered from the night before. =) 

 

 Afterwards, J got Ava dressed up to meet his parents... Well, I helped with the feather bow/headband. He doesn't want to take credit for that. =)

At the time, J wasn't a fan of the feather bow, so all I was able to do was a take a picture and then the headband came off and he switched her back to the pink hat. As soon as he put these pants on her we laughed at how big they were on her. One of the things you can't really tell based on the pictures is how small she really was...5lbs 10oz....both the onesie and her pants were "newborn" size and they were still too big on her.  Occasionally we go in her room and look at all of her tiny diapers, the clothes she wore and socks she wore on her hands to keep from scratching her face and we are just amazed at how small they are, yet they were so big on her.



After J got her dressed, he headed back home to let Lilly out and get dressed himself. As he left, he let the nurses know that I would be on my own just in case I needed anything. They suggested that they go ahead and take Ava to the nursery for about an hour to do some routine checkups and it would allow me some time to rest.  Him and the nurse came back to relay the message to me, then they were off and I was able to get a lil bit of a nap in.

Thanks for following along with us,

A Sick B

Yesterday B woke up at 4am not feeling well. He came to wake me up to let me know that it hurt to swallow, cough and even to breathe. I went and laid down with him in his room until he woke back up at 6. I checked his temperature and noticed he had a 102 temp so I gave him some tylenol and sent J to Walmart to get him some cough medicine.  He brought back children's musinex and it did wonders for B. It helped him have a more productive cough that wasn't as painful. We went ahead and just had a lazy morning/day.

After we went to see Ava and visit the funeral home to design her marker we came home. One of our sweet friends was bringing us dinner.  Our door bell rang, and it was one of our sweet neighbors offering us tickets to the Allen Americans hockey game that night. I was excited for us to be able to get out and do something as a family, but I wasn't sure if the timing would work out. A lil bit later, our friend brought us an amazing homemade dinner! It was so delicious and it was so great to see her. =) B still not feeling well, didn't have much of an appetite and didn't feel like going to the game.  Knowing how much he liked going to the games in the past, I knew this was a sign when he didn't feel like going. By 7:00, he even ASKED us if he could go to bed. Now we REALLY knew something was wrong.  He never, ever, EVER wants to go to bed by 7:00 ever!

This morning B woke up still not feeling well, so today we decided to go ahead and take him to the Acute Kids Urgent Care...normally I like to just wait and take him to our regular family doctor. In the past, I haven't had much luck with the urgent cares, but he was in so much pain I wanted to go ahead and get him checked out and a prescription if needed. Well the first Kids Urgent Care we went into had about 12+ babies/toddlers waiting. We literally walked right back outside and I asked B if he wanted to wait or just go to our doctor tomorrow. He did not want to wait there so I suggested we try one of their other locations that is also close to us and see what kind of wait they had. Luckily they only had 4 other kids waiting, and all were around B's age so we decided to wait it out.

They called us back into the room and after giving B's symptoms the nurse did a strep test on him.  As we waited for the results, the doctor came in to check him out. His strep results came back negative but I asked the doctor if they could also send a swab off to be tested.  I explained to her that about a year and a half ago, he was tested for strep and it came back negative on the rapid test but two days later they called to say it was positive after they sent it off. Then two days later, he had pneumonia. His pneumonia had gotten so bad that he had to be hospitalized for 3 days. Today, the doctor diagnosed B with a virus, so no prescription, just continue what we are doing. Knowing his symptoms are very similiar as to what they were before, I am having a lil deja vu's and hoping history won't repeat itself. 

Afterwards we stopped at Rita's Italian Ice for a special treat. B hasn't ate much the last couple of days and I thought it would feel good on his throat, plus we haven't had it in awhile. =)  Then we went to see Ava (our new Sunday ritual) and on our way B asked us "do you think God went ahead and took Ava so I wouldn't have given her this virus?"  Hearing this, broke my heart. I hate for him to think that he would have anything to do with her not being here. I assured him that had NOTHING to do with it.

After we visited with Ava, we went back home to relax and let B rest some more. Unfortunately, B had a make up soccer game that he missed this afternoon.  He was really looking forward to it, but just didn't feel well to play.  Hopefully soon he'll be back to his energetic self. =)

Update on our Prayer Request from Friday:
We went to the Funeral home to design Ava's marker yesterday. Although I had a lot of anxiety leading up to it, it wasn't that bad. We went in with a plan of what we wanted which made it easier. The hardest part was our guy trying to find the coding for the different things we wanted. At one point, he had brought out every huge binder in the room trying to find the code and even had to bring someone else in to help him and even she had a hard time. At one point, after our guy left the room for the third time to get some help, J and I looked at each other and chuckled a lil bit. We thought, leave it to us, to complicate things trying to make everything perfect for our lil princess.  It took us a lil over an hour and half. It WAS difficult for us, especially seeing her name and dates up on the big screen with our final design, but we survived. J and I both kept thinking, we can't believe we are having to do this!  They told us it should take 8-10 weeks for her marker to be made.  Unfortunately, I dont think our princess will have her special marker in time for Memorial Day this year, so instead we'll have to find another way to really jazz up her special area. =)

Thanks for following along with us,

I survived...

I survived my first week alone...this was a big deal for me. Since the middle of January (when I was first ordered on strict best rest), my parents have been gracious enough to split their time and come spend the week with us.  We will be forever grateful to my mom and dad for not only helping take care of me, but for also helping take care of B (and his homework which is a nightmare at times!), doing our household chores, cooking meals and anything else we needed help with to lighten the load for J and me. They have been awesome!

After Ava's tragic passing, my mom stayed with us for the next couple of weeks to still help take care of B and me. Each day she would get B ready for school, pick him up from school, do his homework with him, clean our house, do our laundry, take care of Lilly, prepare dinner, etc... We were spoiled! As much as J and I enjoy having my mom around to help out, it was time for me to try to get back to a normal routine all on my own.
 
For my first week alone, I did have a couple of bumps in the road...
* Last Friday, my short term disability representative called to get an update on how I was doing. I knew what words I would have to tell her and I just wasn't ready to say them at that point so I didn't call her back. At the time, I wanted to enjoy the day with B, and not be an emotional wreck. Well, she called back and left a message on Monday. I knew I needed to return her call, but again didn't want to state the words I knew need to be said. So before I called her back, I practiced...I practiced because I thought if I say the words aloud, then maybe when I tell her, I can say it without too much emotion. About an hour later, I called her back and got her voicemail, not really wanting to talk to her, I went ahead and uttered the words on her voicemail...."This is Christie Abraham, returning your call, and I just wanted to update you and let you know that I delivered my healthy lil girl on 3/11 via csection and tragically she passed away the next evening on 3/12. At this point, we have no idea what happened." My daughter tragically passed away….to me, those words will NEVER get easier to say or to type. It's one thing, when you are surrounded by people who already know and love and support us, but to actually have to SAY the words out loud, it's a whole new thing. She called me back about 10 minutes later and was very sweet and sympathetic and just wanted to check on me to see how I was doing. I was able to produce a very emotional, "I'm just trying to hang in there." My very generic answer to that question.

* Tuesday evening, I sat down in Ava's room to read a book that one of my mom's good friends gave me, Safe in the Arms of God: Truth from Heaven About the Death of a Child. I had read the back of the book and was really excited to start reading it. Not even three pages into it, I had a break down. Honestly, I am not even sure if the book had anything to do with my breakdown.  All alone in Ava's room (the boys were already asleep), my mind went back to the night. The night that Ava passed away and I just kept reliving it and reliving different "what if" scenarios. Oh, if things could only be different!  

On a more positive note, I did have a few things I was proud of this week...
* I managed to go to both WalMart and Hobby Lobby without completely breaking down....which is a difficult task for me, especially when you are looking at their Easter clearance sections thinking "what can I use to decorate Ava's special spot, next year to really jazz it up."
* I managed to only visit Ava one time...I really thought once I had the freedom to drive, I would be there every.single.day, with my camping chair, spending the whole day with her.  Instead, I just stopped by once, for a quick visit.
* I managed to go to the Children's Place Outlet to get B some new spring clothes and did not even look at the lil girls clothes, not even once.  I really think I owe this one to Ava already being spoiled rotten and not needing any new clothes from all the cutesy dresses and outfits we had received/bought. I had already tried to train myself that Ava did not need any more clothes, so before she was even born I tried to not be tempted to get her anything more. As B would tease, "Ava is going to need to do 4 outfit changes a day to wear ALL these dresses and clothes!" What can I say, a princess HAS to have many options. =)  Hopefully, one day, we will get to pass down all of Ava's cutesy, frilly, dresses/outfits to her lil sister. =)

Another mager help to me this week was the help of a lot of friends that came to visit me each day.  Each day different friends brought B home, brought me Sonic drinks, dinner and just sat and visited with me until J came home from work. It was SO great catching up with several of my school friends. I have missed them all so much!!

If you have made it this far, we ask that you please keep us in your prayers tomorrow, Saturday, April 6th.  At 3:00, we are meeting with one of the funeral home directors to design Ava's "marker". We call it her "marker" because I REFUSE to call it a headstone. I have had anxiety over this all day today and know tomorrow will be an emotional time for us.

Thanks for your continued prayers and for following along,

Ava's First and Only Night

After a busy day of loving and snuggling on our lil princess...my parents and B had to say their goodbyes to us about 6:30. The three of them had to go out of town on Tuesday to visit my grandpa, so this was the last of their time with Ava. NEVER in our wildest dreams/nightmares would we have EVER thought those goodbyes would truly be their last goodbyes to Ava.

I SO wish they could have spent more time with her! A couple of things I regret from that day...one, we never took a family picture of all four of us together. (If we are blessed with another child, that will be the FIRST thing we do!)  Secondly, my dad had spent most of Monday at our house installing the baby video cameras in Ava and B's rooms, rather than spending most of the day with Ava and us at the hospital. J and him had already installed them, but I didn't like the chords hanging down the walls to the outlet. Everything had to be perfect for our princess' arrival, so my dad redid them by running the chords through the attic and ceiling. We now have two perfectly installed video cameras with no chords showing.  And if I wasn't such a perfectionist my dad would have been able to spend those precious hours with his only grandaughter.

I AM thankful that my oldest sister was able to spend the evening with us. J, her and I all had room service hospital cafeteria food for dinner. After we ate, my sister and I introduced Ava to reality tv...the finale of "The Bachelor" as J started to doze off. He's not a fan of reality tv, so we went ahead and sent him home to let Lilly out, take a real nap and shower before he came back to spend the evening with Ava and I.  After J left, my sister and I gabbed away about any and every lil thing. I will forever treasure this special "girly" time with my sister and Ava.  Now watching "The Bachelor" will never be the same for me. =) My sister also got to change Ava's first dirty diaper...I texted J a pic of what he missed out on, but I'll save you guys from it. =)

About midnight, J came back to the hospital to relieve my sister so she headed back to my parents house.  It was just J, Ava and me for the night. J laid down on his recliner that turned into a "bed". He was quick to fall asleep as I gazed at our lil girl in her hospital crib.  The next morning I gave J a hard time about how much sleep he got and how lil sleep I got. =) He had no idea that the nurses came in all throughout the night to check on Ava, check on me, drew blood from me, etc. He was out! The most precious thing though, THE moment Ava cried out just a lil bit, J was immediately up out of his "bed" to see what she needed.  He did the same if I called his name. Even though he snored through the nurses coming in and out, THE moment one of his girls needed him, he was wide awake meeting our needs. Love him and love how he takes care of all of us. =)

A sweet pic of Ava sleeping...although I think this was actually from a nap earlier in the day rather than in the evening. =)

Thanks for following along with us!

New Pet Lizard??

Today afterschool B had a playdate with two of his good buddies, that happen to be brothers.  He had so much fun, but then again he always has a great time when he goes to their house. =) On my way to pick him up I got a text from their mom saying that B caught a lizard and would be bringing it home in a homemade terranium. She even offered for them to "lizard sit" forever if needed.  =) Seeing as though it is April Fools today, a lil part of me thought maybe B asked her to play a joke on me, but then I knew better and knew this would be EXACTLY something he would do. =)

Meet B's lizard he caught...

 

Thankfully, no pet lizard for us. B decided on his own to let it go...so we documented his release/escape to freedom.

I love his impromptu singing at the end and that Lilly (our morkie) is making sure her voice is heard, even if it's from inside the house. =)

Love the life of being "mommy" to this sweet lil boy...even when he tries to put a lizard on me. =)

 

It's been 3 Weeks

Today marks 3 weeks since the birth of our sweet baby girl, Ava. Previously, we posted about her birth and meeting my family. One of the next things she got to do on her first day was "skin to skin" time with me. I am so thankful we have a few pictures of this precious time and even a short video.

I LOVE staring at her sweet lil face. :)

After we had our special time together it was time for her to get prepared for her first (and only) sponge bath.

First, J was able to cut her umbilical cord...

 

Big Brother closely watching. =)

If you look closely, you can see all the lil soap on her.

 Miss Ava all cleaned up....such big, BEAUTIFUL brown eyes. =)

 

J also took some video of her bath with our "real" video camera...I'm just not sure how to upload that to youtube yet. After she got all cleaned up, my mom and J were able to dress her. I wish we would have had the video camera rolling as the two of them tried to dress her! It was a very cute experience watching as they were trying to be sooo careful (but struggling) putting her onesie on her precious lil body.  Finally they got it on her and after she was all dressed and "bowed" up, B was the first one to get to hold her....

 He was SOOO happy his baby sister finally arrived. =)

After we spent a lot of time snuggling her and passing her around, we switched her outfits to another one of her "little sister" outfits....this outfit had matching pants, socks and a hat so we thought it would be a lil warmer for her.  Unfortunately we didn't get a good picture of her in it, she was always snuggled up in a blankie. We just assumed she would be having the chance to wear it many more times.

Next, one of the nurses came back in to check on Ava. She got a clean bill of health and the nurse let B hear her heartbeat too.

You can just barely see her matching pink/white polk a dot pants and hat. You can see she has two hats on too because our pink one was too big and it kept falling off. I couldn't dare let our baby girl just wear the generic pink/blue hospital hat, so we put her pink on top. =)

Afterwards we were back to loving and snuggling on her some more. I'll post later about her first night and her second day.

Thanks for following along,