B stayed home from school again and is finally doing much better. He still has a horrible cough and he says that his throat doesn't hurt as bad. He finally had enough energy to carry on conversations and enough energy to beg me to play monopoly with him. After about two hours of playing monopoly, I realized there was never going to be an end to the game, especially with his rules. His rule, if you are about to run out of money, you can get a loan from the bank= the never ending game of monopoly. I did get a call from Acute Kids following up on our visit from Sunday. They did say his strep culture came back negative, so that was a big relief.
Then I got a call from J about 5:30 to say that our funeral director had called him. He had made a mistake with the coding on Ava's marker on Sunday. Remember I said we had to make it complicated for our princess?? =) He had assured J he fixed the mistake, but needed one of us to come sign the corrected paper. J was still at work so it was much easier for me to go and sign than it would be for him. I got in the car and headed there. Going to a funeral home is.never.easy! As soon as I got there, I could tell from the amount of cars in their front parking lot and arriving, a visitation was just about to begin. From the friends visiting, I could tell the visitation was for an older person. Not that it makes it ANY easier, losing a loved one is never easy, regardless of their age. The whole scene just took me back 3.5 weeks ago and the flood of emotions began. As I walked in, I told the greeter who I was there to meet. They called him and he met me at the front (not being able to hold back my emotions) he immediately apologized for me having to come back and took me back to an office. He explained that right before he submitted our order he felt that something just wasn't right about it. He looked it over, couldn't quite figure it out, so he had someone else take a look at it. They looked and thought everything was right. He still had a gut feeling that something was wrong. He then realized the edging was wrong. Most people get a "rock edge". . . but since our princess can't have what most people get we went for a "beveled" edge. It took them over two hours and calling the company directly, to get it correct. I am so thankful he noticed it and I know that "gut feeling" was Ava making sure her marker was just as special as her mommy, daddy and big brother designed. =) As hard as it was going back to the funeral home, it did give me one more excuse to go see our princess for a quick visit. =)
Since I haven't been able to show off J's parents introductions yet, here is a sneak peak one of my favorites. . .
Christie, I know no matter what I say it can never ease your pain. I can somewhat relate to your pain from when I lost my mother 8 yrs ago suddenly and tragically, but I understand nothing is equal as to losing a child. Grieving takes times. You are taking the right steps in healing by talking or writing about Ava and your family's process in trying to move on with her always in your hearts. But never feel as if you need to speak about her moments of passing for the benefit of our interests as an audience. I think I can speak for others in saying you should only share those moments if and when you are ready. That time may not be this week or next, and could quite honestly be a long time. I know when I lost my mother, it took me nearly 8yrs until I was willing to truly accept that she was gone and well prepared for the roller coaster of the grieving process. You will know when that time is for yourself but always know that in the meantime, continue to talk your thoughts out, even if it is about your daily routines. My thoughts will always be with you!
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